The Problem with Modern Dating: Privileges vs Responsibilities

Orion Taraban, Relationships -

The Problem with Modern Dating: Privileges vs Responsibilities

Men are disincentivized from entering relationships due to a mismatch between privileges and responsibilities, leading to a raw deal for many and causing modern dating to not work effectively 

Questions to inspire discussion

  • Why are men disincentivized from entering relationships?

    Men feel there is a mismatch between the privileges and responsibilities in relationships, leading to a raw deal for many.

  • How does this affect modern dating?

    This mismatch causes modern dating to not work effectively, as men feel they are not getting a fair deal in relationships.

  • What are the consequences of this mismatch?

    Many men feel discouraged from entering relationships, leading to a decrease in successful and fulfilling partnerships.

  • What privileges and responsibilities are mismatched?

    Men feel they are expected to take on more responsibilities in relationships while receiving fewer privileges, leading to a sense of unfairness.

  • How can this issue be addressed?

    The video discusses potential solutions to address the mismatch between privileges and responsibilities in relationships, offering hope for a more balanced and fulfilling dating landscape.

 

Key insights

  • 💔 The Gottman Institute's research found that the simple act of responding to each other's bids for connection can predict divorce with 80% accuracy.
  • 📱 The abundance of alternatives in every aspect of life makes it difficult to invest in one, leading to a disposable mindset in relationships.
  • 😔 The disposability of relationships and the prioritization of individual needs over emotional investment are contributing factors to the high divorce rate.
  • 😔 The cycle of defensive and guarded behavior in relationships leads to increased divorces and makes individuals less eligible partners for future relationships.
  • 😍 Openly communicating needs, expressing love, and using labels in a relationship can help the partner learn how to love and meet those needs.
  • 💑 Successful relationships involve partners who actively look for opportunities to praise and appreciate each other.
  • 😍 Men often have affairs not because they're seeking sex, but because they crave validation and compliments from a woman who complements them.
  • 😳 Checking who someone is following on Instagram can trigger insecurities and doubts, even after a great date, potentially impacting the relationship.

 

 

#Relationships #OrionTaraban 

 

Timestamped Summary

  • 00:00 🔑 Men want to be alone but not by themselves, they want their space and freedom.
    • 00:49 🔑 Men are disincentivized from entering relationships due to a mismatch between privileges and responsibilities, which is bad for women.
      • 01:49 🔑 Privilege and responsibility should be balanced, with more privileges requiring more responsibilities, as seen in corporate hierarchy.
        • 02:27 🔑 Men enjoy privileges in the early stages of dating without taking on the corresponding responsibilities.
          • 03:33 🚹 Men take on more responsibilities and enjoy fewer privileges in relationships, leading to a raw deal for many.
            • 04:29 🔑 Men have the freedom to work on side projects without causing any issues.
              • 04:44 🔑 Men have privileges in dating but also have responsibilities that can feel like a demotion.
                • 05:41 🔑 Modern dating doesn't work because men are disincentivized to progress relationships with women, leading to emotional rather than rational progression and unequal privileges and responsibilities.

                  ------------------------------------- 0:6:43 2023-11-24T13:50:33Z


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