Spending 90 minutes a week talking about your lives and relationship is crucial for maintaining intimacy and avoiding divorce
Questions to inspire discussion
Effective Communication
🗣️Q: How should men respond when women express concerns?
A: Allow her to unfold the discussion fully, clarifying the problem before offering solutions, as she may initially produce false positives and not know the exact issue.
Maintaining Intimacy
⏰Q: How much time should couples dedicate to discussing their relationship?
A: Spend at least 90 minutes per week talking about lives, domestic economy, kids, and relationship to maintain intimacy and keep everything up to date.
Personal Growth
🔄Q: How can partners support each other's personal development?
A: Constantly negotiate your identity with your partner, facilitating their development and allowing them to reveal new aspects of themselves, keeping the relationship dynamic and alive.
Avoiding Stagnation
🚫Q: What should partners avoid to prevent relationship stagnation?
A: Don't put your partner in a box by limiting their growth, as this can lead to a pathological personality formed one lie at a time, often unconsciously.
Practical Relationship Maintenance
🏠Q: How can couples address practical affairs in their relationship?
A: Regularly discuss practical affairs like domestic economy and kids, adjusting the time spent based on your life's level of disarray to avoid drifting apart and ending up in divorce court.
Key Insights
Effective Communication in Marriage
- 🗣️ Men should listen more than they speak to their wives, as women are often more sensitive to negative emotions and may bring up concerns that aren't necessarily problems, producing "false positives" that require attention rather than immediate solutions.
- 👥 In marriage, identity is a constant negotiation between partners, and a mature approach involves negotiating one's identity with one's partner and children rather than trying to maintain a fixed self.
Maintaining a Healthy Relationship
- 🕰️ Couples should spend at least 90 minutes per week discussing their lives, domestic economy, children, and relationship to keep everything up to date and prevent divorce.
- 🌱 Facilitating a partner's growth and development through communication can keep a relationship dynamic and alive, as putting a partner in a "box" can lead to a boring relationship.
Problem-Solving Dynamics
- 🎯 During conflicts, it's crucial to listen to all concerns before attempting to solve problems, then work together to zero in on the actual issue, avoiding the tendency to immediately offer solutions which can "steal someone's destiny" and hinder their problem-solving skills development.
#Relationships #FemalePsychology
XMentions: @JordanBPeterson @HabitatsDigital
Clips
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00:00 👩 Women are more sensitive to negative emotion, more agreeable, and have threat detection systems, so it's important to listen to them when they bring up concerns.
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00:39 🚺 Women's sensitivity to threat and negative emotion in relationships may lead them to express concerns before men, and allowing them to discuss their concerns can help zero in on the actual problem.
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01:39 👫 Men need to understand that women often need to figure things out on their own and that their sensitivity to trouble can help clarify problems before they arise.
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02:34 💡 Regular communication and addressing issues in a relationship is crucial for intimacy and avoiding divorce.
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03:39 💡 Invest at least 90 minutes a week in your marriage and family to keep it together and avoid drifting apart.
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04:10 👫 Your identity in a marriage is constantly negotiated, not just what you say it is.
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05:02 👫 Communicate with your partner to facilitate their development and avoid boxing them in.
- 05:48 🔑 Continually revealing new parts of themselves keeps relationships dynamic and alive, but putting your partner in a box can lead to a bad place one step at a time.
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Duration: 0:6:32
Publication Date: 2024-11-18T11:18:15Z
WatchUrl: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DjaKbUtDyLI
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