The Impact of Modern Dating on Fertility and Relationships - Louise Perry

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• 00:00 🔍 Many young adults question the usefulness of marriage, societal norms impact dating and fertility, women are rejecting hormonal birth control, decline in birth rates linked to political ideology and historical eugenics.
  • Many young adults believe that marriage is no longer useful due to the lack of stable family structures and the influence of those around them on their desire to have children.
  • The speaker discusses the impact of societal norms on dating and fertility, and how the invention of the pill has changed the way women approach sex and contraception.
  • Women are increasingly rejecting hormonal birth control in favor of fertility tracking and other wellness maximizing methods, but these methods are not always effective and can lead to accidental pregnancies.
  • The speaker discusses the shift from prudishness to licentiousness in modern dating, the impact of technology and the internet, and the potential consequences for reproduction and societal elites.
  • The decline in birth rates is linked to the heritability of political ideology and the historical popularity of eugenics.
  • The speaker discusses the history of forced sterilization in the United States and the influence of Nazi ideology on the practice.
• 11:31 🔍 Younger generations are showing less interest in sex and romance, possibly due to a reaction against porn culture, fertility rates, and hormonal factors affecting both men and women, with men feeling less needed in modern society and women choosing to have fewer children due to the challenge of balancing work and reproduction.
  • Younger generations are showing less interest in sex and romance in media, possibly due to a reaction against porn culture, differential fertility rates, and hormonal factors affecting both men and women.
  • Men are attracted to women at their most fertile stage, hormonal birth control affects women's attraction to men, and the decrease in men's testosterone levels has societal implications.
  • The push back against modern dating may run deeper than just a reaction to sex, as it also involves a resistance to romance culture and the idea that women need men.
  • Men are feeling less needed in modern society due to technology and affluence, leading to women being better suited for the current working environment, despite the manosphere's belief that women were happier in the past.
  • The gender pay gap is mainly due to a small number of high-earning men and the challenge of balancing work and reproduction for women, leading to many women choosing to have fewer children.
  • Women who have experienced the love for their children feel it is incomparable to anything else, and would unhesitatingly die for them.
• 27:49 🔍 Modern dating prioritizes short-term pleasure over long-term investment, leading to declining birth rates and an aging population, with women generally not happier with the current sexual culture compared to the past.
  • Modern culture prioritizes short-term pleasure over long-term investment, leading to a decline in fertility rates and a lack of long-term thinking.
  • Declining birth rates and an aging population present a unique population risk that is not immediately noticeable but has long-term implications.
  • The speaker discusses the prioritization of pleasure and meaning in modern dating, referencing a viral TikTok video about reasons to not have kids and the joy of motherhood.
  • Most women are not happier with modern sexual culture compared to 60 or 70 years ago, but there are outliers, and the traditional patriarchal structure is historically unusual.
  • Modern dating is fine for most women, but it becomes disastrous if the husband is a tyrant, and the current status quo of disproportionate childcare and housework is worse than modern dating.
  • Gender dynamics in relationships can impact outcomes, with men more likely to experience erectile dysfunction and women more likely to experience domestic violence if they are the primary breadwinner.
• 37:16 🚺 Women are encouraged to pursue traditionally masculine roles, but societal bias still views feminine things as lower status, leading to women being consistently regarded as lovable but lower status, and the fallout of the #MeToo movement has not actually improved women's experiences with sexual aggression.
  • Women are encouraged to pursue traditionally masculine roles, but there is still a deep-seated societal bias that views feminine things as lower status, leading to women being consistently regarded as lovable but lower status.
  • Modern women have been taught that true freedom is having sex like their brother and working like their father, but most women aren't made happier by trying to be more male, and the convergence of the denial of sex differences and the tyranny of the minority creates a skewed perception of female success in CEO positions.
  • The fallout of the #MeToo movement has led to men being more reluctant to approach women in fear of false accusations, but it has not actually improved women's experiences with sexual aggression.
  • The speaker discusses the way women are perceived as potential victims by predators and the conflicting advice given to girls in order to avoid victim blaming.
  • Some girls are not being told the truth about modern dating and the Me Too movement, and there is a blurred line between consensual and good behavior.
  • The speaker argues that the concept of chivalry should not have been abandoned, as it is in women's interests to be protected in light of the physical and psychological differences between men and women.
• 51:40 🔍 Progressives and conservatives have different approaches to dating and family dynamics, technology has greatly impacted these changes, and the #MeToo movement has influenced men's approach to women, leading to conflicting expectations in modern dating.
  • Progressives want to tear down fences without knowing their purpose, while conservatives want to understand the purpose before deciding to remove them.
  • The main factor in the changes in dating and family dynamics over the last 100 years is technology, and Phyllis Schlafly, a 60s American housewife and foreign policy expert, led the campaign against the Equal Rights Amendment.
  • Men and women are not the same, and enshrining this in the Constitution could lead to actions not in women's interests, such as drafting women into combat, and the Equal Rights Amendment was never passed due to efforts against it.
  • Many men are not approaching women due to the influence of the #MeToo movement, and the speaker believes that the traditional way of starting relationships through semi-arranged marriages is more common in most cultures.
  • Historically, people had more homosocial lives and didn't necessarily interact with the opposite sex, so the idea of approaching a stranger in a bar to start a relationship is not historically accurate.
  • Modern dating has left us with conflicting expectations of marriage, with some people expecting their spouse to fulfill all their needs and others seeing marriage as just a practical partnership, leading to unrealistic romantic expectations and potential failure.
• 01:02:04 🔍 Women struggle with modern dating due to the balance between receptiveness and safety, men's lack of emotional intelligence, skepticism of male approaches, and the complex dynamics of victim blaming.
  • Women need to cultivate receptiveness in dating to improve their prospects, but in a post #MeToo world, it's difficult to navigate the balance between demonstrating interest and ensuring safety.
  • Women are more intuitive than men, and men's lack of emotional intelligence makes modern dating more difficult for women.
  • Women are feeling more masculine in the workplace, are skeptical of men approaching them, and there is a bias in perception of sexual interest between men and women.
  • Girls in the UK set up a website called "everyone's invited" to share bad sexual experiences, leading to calls for consent workshops in schools, but teachers argued that these incidents mostly occur outside of school and are the responsibility of parents.
  • Young women often give confusing signals by dressing provocatively to attract men, but they don't realize the potential danger and should be banned from leaving the house like that.
  • The discussion around victim blaming and the dynamics of modern dating is complex, with the empathetic argument often winning over logical reasoning, making it difficult to defend conservative viewpoints.
• 01:10:47 🔍 Social media negatively impacts mental health of young girls, leading to false impressions in dating, ethical debates on chemical castration and hormonal birth control, and challenges faced by trans individuals.
  • Social media is negatively impacting the mental health of young girls, leading to feelings of hopelessness and the spread of contagious mental illnesses.
  • Social media platforms like Instagram and TikTok are giving girls a false impression of their competition in dating, leading to negative mental health outcomes and an increase in FTM transitions among teenage girls.
  • The speaker discusses the ethical debate around using chemical castration for pedophiles and the use of hormonal birth control for teenage girls, highlighting the tradeoffs and challenges involved.
  • Non-offending pedophiles need more sympathy, people prefer comforting explanations, and there is a bias to attribute events to controllable factors rather than random failure.
  • Female support for body positivity is fueled by intersexual competition, and the hierarchy of sexual attractiveness is difficult to change.
  • The speaker discusses the challenges and dependence on the kindness of strangers that trans individuals face, and questions the encouragement of irreversible surgeries.
• 01:27:51 🔍 Women engage in a competitive race of enhancement and luxury goods signaling in modern dating, while men are insensitive to brands and details, and fashion trends are driven by the preferences of gay men.
  • The beauty industry is driven by women's bottomless desire for beauty enhancing treatments, leading to technological innovation and a ratcheting up of beauty standards.
  • Women engage in a race of enhancement and competition in modern dating, leading to unspoken cartel-like behavior and body positivity rivalry.
  • Women are highly concerned about luxury goods as a signal of their mate's investment and use it as a competitive threat display, while men are insensitive to brands and details like manicures.
  • Women who are high in intrasexual competitiveness are more likely to advise women they perceive as potential mating threats to cut off more hair in an attempt to sabotage their attractiveness, as men are attracted to long hair and women engage in a parallel status game of attracting men and intersexual competition.
  • Fashion trends are driven by the preferences of gay men, leading to the use of skinny models and limited sizes, but some brands are now including plus-sized models.
  • Louise Perry discusses her podcast, writing, and upcoming book on motherhood and fertility, and encourages viewers to check out her work.

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