Does Psychology Have A Negative View Of Masculinity? - Dr John Barry | Modern Wisdom Podcast 576

Questions to inspire discussion

Key Insights 

Clips 

• 00:00 🧠 Men's psychology is often overlooked and misunderstood in the field of psychology, leading to a lack of accurate information and inadequate addressing of unique mental health issues faced by men, such as higher suicide rates and substance abuse.
  • Men are misrepresented in the media and academia, leading to a lack of accurate information on men's psychology, and there is more interest and awareness in men's psychology among the general public than within the field of professional psychology.
  • Men's psychology is often overlooked and not well understood in the field of psychology, and there is a lack of accurate information about men's health and medication optimization for the male body.
  • Men tend to take on dirty and dangerous jobs and are protective of women, but psychology focuses more on the behavioral differences between men and women in therapy, with the model being based on what women like and respond to, possibly influenced by Freud's predominantly female client group.
  • Male gender blindness in psychology leads to a tendency to overlook or downplay the problems faced by men and boys, while focusing more on the problems faced by women and girls, which is evident in research biases known as alpha and beta biases.
  • Psychology's tendency to minimize differences between men and women overlooks the fact that men face unique mental health issues such as higher suicide rates, substance abuse, and homelessness that are not being adequately addressed by psychologists or therapists.
  • There is a bias in psychology where achievements by women are often emphasized based on their gender, while achievements by men are not, and this bias also applies to negative actions, such as violence.
• 13:37 🧠 Therapists should empathize with male clients and not make negative assumptions based on societal views of masculinity, as highlighted in controversial guidelines by the American Psychological Association, while also recognizing the biological influences on masculinity and the differences in cognitive abilities between men and women.
  • Therapists should have empathy for their male clients and not make negative assumptions about them based on societal views of masculinity, as this can hinder the therapeutic alliance and discourage men from seeking therapy.
  • The gender empathy gap is a condition where we tend to sympathize more with women than men, and it is important to encourage men to open up without accusing them of tyranny or patriarchal oppression, as highlighted in the controversial guidelines released by the American Psychological Association on therapy with boys and men.
  • Masculinity being a social construct is a popular idea in psychology, but there are commonalities in the way men behave and dress that are often overlooked and attributed solely to socialization.
  • There is evidence of biological influences on masculinity, such as the impact of testosterone on fetal development, which can lead to differences in bone structure and muscle mass, as well as potentially affecting cognitive abilities.
  • Men have a greater ability for mental rotation and throwing precision compared to women, even before puberty.
  • Women are better at remembering the location of things within a smaller area, while men have a better ability to remember things in a broader distance.
• 21:21 🧠 Boys' throwing ability may be influenced by testosterone, stereotypes should not restrict opportunities based on gender, the term "toxic masculinity" is misused and unfairly labels all men, men's belief about masculinity affects mental health, and the concept of innate toxic qualities is similar to original sin.
  • Boys experience a surge of testosterone after birth which may affect their throwing ability, and while stereotypes have a basis in truth, people should not feel bad about differences between men and women or restrict opportunities based on gender.
  • The term "toxic masculinity" originated to describe young men who hadn't undergone initiation ceremonies to become part of a tribe, but it has been misused and now encompasses any behavior by men, such as man-spreading or staring at women, leading to absurd laws like the one in London where men can be imprisoned for looking at women in a way interpreted as sexual harassment, as highlighted in an article by Jenny Cummings Knight.
  • Unwanted staring on the London Underground is now considered sexual harassment and can result in jail time, although cultural differences exist regarding the acceptability of staring in other countries.
  • The term "toxic masculinity" unfairly labels all men as poisonous and encompasses any behavior by a man that is deemed distasteful or objectionable, while similar behavior by women is not labeled as "toxic femininity."
  • Men who believe that masculinity has a negative impact on their behavior tend to have worse mental health, while those who believe that masculinity is positive for their behavior have better mental health.
  • Being born with innate qualities that are seen as toxic or damaged is similar to the concept of original sin, but it is unclear if therapists can redeem or fix these qualities.
• 32:02 🧠 Psychology should challenge the idea of toxic masculinity and not generalize negative behavior to all men, as campaigns aimed at changing behavior may have unintended consequences and cause well-behaving men to feel ashamed and disgusted about their own masculinity.
  • Psychology needs to be more interested in examining the idea of toxic masculinity and challenging the narrative that masculinity is inherently bad, instead of just confirming preconceived notions.
  • Personal growth and health satisfaction are important factors for men's well-being, as they prioritize self-improvement and value honesty, reliability, and dependability over adventurousness and athleticism.
  • Men are often misrepresented in the media and academia, with negative behavior being generalized to all men, leading to unintended consequences in campaigns aimed at changing behavior.
  • Implementing campaigns to discourage harassment and promote positive behavior towards women may have unintended consequences, as the already well-behaved individuals remain the same or become even nicer, while those who were not receptive to the campaign actually worsen, resulting in an overall negative impact.
  • Sexual assaults are primarily committed by a small number of repeat offenders, but when society generalizes this behavior to all men, it causes well-behaving men to feel fearful, ashamed, guilty, and disgusted about their own masculinity, as exemplified by a school assembly where male students were forced to apologize for sexual assaults they had no involvement in.
  • Girls were exposed to the entire school, causing a mess, and the workshops being rolled out by the mayor of London to help boys be better around women won't benefit anyone.
• 39:46 🧠 Some men feel preached to and push back against gender equality, leading to a negative view of masculinity in psychology, which has evolved to portray men as competitive, aggressive, domineering, misogynistic, and homophobic, creating division and blaming masculinity instead of addressing underlying issues such as childhood trauma, fatherlessness, and the challenges men face.
  • Some men who spend a lot of time learning about gender dynamics push back against the idea of gender equality because they feel like they are being preached to and told how to behave, leading to a negative view of masculinity in psychology.
  • Psychology's view of masculinity has evolved over time, with the concept of hegemonic masculinity emerging in the 80s and 90s, portraying men as competitive, aggressive, domineering, misogynistic, and homophobic, although not all psychologists subscribe to this definition.
  • Psychology and the media have adopted a negative view of masculinity, leading to the belief that there is something wrong with men and that they have an unearned privilege, which creates division and is detrimental.
  • The problem of masculinity cannot be solved by simply blaming masculinity, but rather by addressing the underlying issues such as childhood trauma, including sexual trauma, which has been found in some serious sex offenders, although it is difficult to address these issues due to societal limitations and the time-consuming nature of therapy.
  • The outcomes of fatherlessness vary for boys, with some thriving and others having negative experiences.
  • The absence of fathers or father figures in families increases the likelihood of delinquency in both men and women, and the idea of smashing the patriarchy is questionable as men are facing various challenges such as failing in education, homelessness, imprisonment, and high suicide rates.
• 47:20 🧠 Men often prefer to fix their mental health issues rather than talk about their feelings, psychologists need to be more open to understanding and helping men with mental health issues, and men in stable relationships are happier than single men.
  • Men often prefer to fix their mental health issues rather than talk about their feelings, while women are more inclined to discuss their emotions, and both genders can benefit from therapy.
  • Many therapists and police officers may wrongly assume that male victims of domestic violence are the perpetrators, but organizations like the mankind initiative are working to change this perception and provide support for male victims.
  • Psychologists are surprised by the fact that distressed women want to talk about their feelings while men want to fix the problem, and it is important to understand that men want to feel capable and in control rather than just talking about their emotions.
  • Psychologists need to be more open to the insights from online communities, but there is a need for a regulated authority to provide reliable help for men, as some online communities can become toxic and the lack of positive role models from the left leaves a void in conversations about masculinity.
  • Psychology has failed in adopting a negative view of masculinity and should be more open to understanding and helping men with mental health issues, as leaving them to their own devices can lead to unproductive and potentially harmful outcomes, and it is important to challenge the narrative and ideology that has been perpetuated for too long.
  • Men in stable relationships are happier than single men, and while being single offers opportunities for dating, many men struggle with dating apps and find it tough.
• 58:08 👨‍🔬 Men turn to porn and video games as a coping mechanism, leading to a lack of motivation for relationships, while women struggle to find partners and face the stress of aging.
  • Men often turn to porn as a way to cope with stress, and society needs to recognize the negative impact of messages about toxic masculinity and the mistreatment of men.
  • Women are struggling to find a mate, as evidenced by increasing rates of childlessness and singleness, and men are hesitant to approach women due to perceived dangers.
  • The speaker discusses the impact of technology on dating culture and the potential negative consequences of the #MeToo movement.
  • Men who are single and without partners may experience instability and a drop in testosterone, but instead of causing havoc, they are being sedated by porn and video games, leading to a lack of motivation to seek relationships or improve their standing in the community.
  • The speaker suggests that the increase in sexlessness and singleness among men may be related to the influence of pornography and video games, which may be less harmful than real-life violence but still detrimental to men's lives and relationships, while also acknowledging the distress women experience in conceiving a child.
  • The stress of aging and the pressure of the biological clock affect women, and it is important to provide support and help to everyone in an ideal world.
• 01:04:38 👥 Men are feeling rejected and women are being scared away from men, possibly due to the influence of social media and news, emphasizing the importance of real-world interactions to challenge negative beliefs and experiences, while recognizing the benefits of men's mental health initiatives and providing resources for further information.
  • Men are feeling rejected and women are being scared away from men, possibly due to the influence of social media and news which provide a skewed representation of real-life relationships.
  • The speaker emphasizes the importance of real-world interactions to challenge negative beliefs and experiences that can perpetuate anxiety and social isolation.
  • Men's mental health initiatives like men's sheds and Andy's man club are beneficial for their well-being and it is important to recognize that men are not as bad as they may be perceived.
  • Visit the center for male psychology website or the male psychology section of the British Psychological Society website for articles, academic articles, and questionnaires.

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